i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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