So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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