Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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