Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
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I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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