I think my fart just growled at me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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