I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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