Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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