I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
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I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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