and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize