I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize