I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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