I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
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Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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