lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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