dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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