I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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