I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize