I just saw a hot homeless man
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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