i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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