drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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