I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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