We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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