if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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