Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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