In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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