I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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