Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We are all done wearing pants today
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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