Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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