she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
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I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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