Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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