Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
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he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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