Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize