Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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