you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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