Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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