that's an acceptable place to lick
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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