I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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