so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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