I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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