Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
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Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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