Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize