They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize