I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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