Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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