What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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