he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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