I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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