I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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