fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize