There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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