I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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